ashmongrel:

I don’t really use gramp’s revolver though, or axes. I’m more into hammers, scalpels, drills, electrocution, melting steel, sanders… you know. Hardware. 

But you’re a lumberjack and that’s okay. You sleep all night and you work all day. You cut down trees, you wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. You wish you’d been a girlie just like your dear papa.

YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING REFERENCE THAT PIECE OF ART.

ashmongrel:

It’s about my aesthetic. Cats don’t have a place in the Irving McAllister landscape.

Only dogs, doobies, shades, greenbacks, and hotties.

But. But cats.

Holy shit, what about fucking revolvers and axes though. You jackass, that’s apart of our aesthetic too. Don’t even try to lie to me about that.

ashmongrel:

[Sniffs the air.]

…Someone’s posting animal pictures with my name on them.

Literally.

Stop tagging me on pictures of cats, it will give people the wrong impression.

Awww, c'mon.

Cats are cute. With dogs, they’re somehow even cuter. I don’t know how it works, but it does.

ashmongrel

​ said: fucking excuse you smh from the 1980s

Hey, Satan. 

This guy wants to strike a deal with you.

You are way more interested in me fucking a dog than I am.

Says the guy who has a silicone dog vagina.